09 August 2009

The Job Search Rant

I'm giving fair warning now that this is going to be a complaint-ridden post. Take caution: frustration ahead.

I've been trying not to complain, really. I've tried to keep myself from sending tons of Tweets in frustration, tried not to change my Facebook status a bunch of times -- all reflecting frustration. Basically, I've been keeping everything in & I know that's not good.

It drives me crazy when people Tweet/Facebook/etc. & it's all negative. That's what I've been avoiding. However, I need to vent a bit.

I graduated at the end of May. It's now the beginning of August & I still don't have a job. I know I'm not the only one in this position & I know I'm not the only one who's frustrated. I know that my friends who do have jobs struggled before they got them. I know that I most likely won't be the last person in my class to finally get a job.

But right now? I'm frustrated. So frustrated that I've been upset all weekend. So frustrated that I cried most of Friday & have cried for a good part of today.

You might remember that I already had a huge bout of frustration over my job search. I was so frustrated I felt like giving up, but knew I couldn't. And I didn't, & then I got two job interviews. I went on those interviews & I felt really good about them.

Yet I'm still unemployed. The second job interview, the one at the law firm, went really well & I got excited. I could see myself working there & I felt good about it. I got back from NYC on Thursday, so I gave them a call on Friday to check in. It had been a week & the partner had said it would be a week or two.

I found out that they had already filled the position. I hung up the phone & immediately burst into tears. I wanted that job, I was suited for that job, I needed that job.

It's August & I've only had two interviews. I've had countless rejections.

I know that so many people go through this, but no matter how many times I tell myself that, it doesn't do any good. I'm frustrated & I want to give up ... even though I won't.

I can't put into words how much I appreciate the words of encouragement that I get from my family & friends. I'm sorry if any of you have ever given me encouragement & I've shot it down. Chances are you caught me at a bad moment, one where I was thinking more about how I've heard it all before & couldn't genuinely appreciate your kind thoughts. So I hope that I haven't offended anyone & if I have, I apologize.

It's hard to always have on that smile, when I get bogged down by this frustration so much sometimes that it's all I feel.

I also can't say how much it helps to read fun & silly Tweets, etc. when I'm in this sort of mood. It's helped so much this weekend.

So if you want to encourage me, leave me a comment telling me the funniest thing that you heard/that happened to you this week!

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